Who runs the world?
Ok, I may not run the world, but the house I live in is my world and I run that. Although my 5 year old would like to think she does, she doesn’t. Mummy is the boss.
Last week was International Women’s Day and Mother’s Day last Sunday, and only a few weeks ago we celebrated 100 years of women getting the vote.
It’s been a very positive few weeks for women lately, but it got me thinking about what impact do I have as a woman have on my daughter, or how others view me as a woman?
Sadly I don’t wear a cape, but my daughter does think I look like Wonder Woman so I’m not far off.
What influence do I have on her to be independent, strong and to think for herself? How do others see me? Am I a good influence on friends, family, work colleagues? Or am I the kind of woman that doesn’t inspire at all?
With my daughter, do I put her in the ‘pink box’ because she is a girl, or am I the type of woman that decides “My daughter will wear blue, and play with boys toys because I won’t gender stereotype”?
Is it genetics? Lifestyle? What is it?
My daughter is into female superheroes, and has never been into dolls. Not that we haven’t done the stereotypical thing of buying her a buggy and dolls, because we did. But she’s just never been interested.
She’s never played the “Mother” role in her roleplay games. I’m slightly concerned because I wonder whether it’s because I not being as “motherly” to her as I should be so she hasn’t copied me, or is that just the way my daughter is?
But then it got me thinking about the princesses she loves so much. Although the majority are all at some point in the film in need of being rescued by a man, at the same time they are all the leading ladies in their film.
So does that portray strength, or leadership? Does having your name as the title of the movie make you a role model?
This connects to my mental health in that I’m constantly wondering whether I am a good role model for my daughter. Have I set rules and morals that will help her in life?
I’m the main female in her life who she spends the majority of her time with. So I feel that I set the precedent, and other women in her life having a smaller influence.
I was the stay at home Mum who didn’t go back to work, but I worry whether that was the wrong decision. Was I meant to have gone back to work to show that the modern woman can have it all, but then feel that “Mother’s guilt”?
Recently in the media there has been a lot of discussion about equal rights for women, as well as mental health and the acceptance that it is okay to talk about it.
I realise that this is the generation that will make it possible for my daughter’s generation to go forward with equal pay, equal rights, talk about mental health and be able to have many opportunities my generation didn’t.
Although there are jobs that haven’t been created yet, it’s good to know that there is a world out there that are already making the processes, breaking down the boundaries and creating the opportunities out there for her.
I know that I only have my daughter for a short time, before she makes her own life choices on subjects such as politics, religion, or the direction of her career.
It will be her own choice and if she wants to be the stay-at-home mum, the working mum or not even a mum at all then that is okay, just as long it’s her choice and her decision.
I have to remember I’m a guide, and that I have to let my daughter make mistakes, and to learn and grown from them. I’m there to listen to her, understand and be there for her if she suffers from mental health or experiences out of her control.
However, for now I want to see the world through her eyes, and embrace the world from the perspective she sees it from and accept that for the most part I’m doing a great job raising another phenomenal woman in the world.